When constructing the blog a little over a month ago now I recall saying that the blog would be about learning how to treat us girls amongst many other things. Since starting up, I haven’t mentioned this much.
Now, I am not someone who has ever really had any experience with boys or men, however at the beginning of this year I did feel extremely lonely and downloaded the infamous app Tinder. Don’t get me wrong, the app is great if you want a five minute wonder who is going to make you feel good about yourself or if you want to see some immature bloke’s penis, however, if you’re looking for something real, then I have learned that you must go out into the real world and look for it.
For a very long time I have fought back at those who have told me that the boys on this app are worth nothing and I have said that actually they do have substance and they can be better. However, we cannot make someone better if they do not want to foremost better themselves. I try to convince myself that everyone in this world is worth more than what they believe, and they are! But, if you sit there and try to convince a boy that you really like and want to go out with that they are a good person and are funny, sweet and attractive, they won’t take any notice because if they are only out there for sex, that is all they want my darlings, and trust me you won’t persuade them otherwise.
It is sad that with the uprising of technology it has meant that a lot of us have become consumed in this social media culture where we only want to look for love if we can find it in the notification of an iPhone. Trust me, I blame none of you for doing so since I have and am doing the exact same thing. One thing I would like to share with you all though, is that this is not healthy nor helpful. Since downloading and deleting Tinder and trawling through my Snapchat to delete unknown faces of random guys who I thought I might actually have a chance of finding love with I have become somewhat depressed and even physically sick.
Part of me likes to think that I have been looking for general love but another part of me believes that this was a cry for help and a desperation to look for a part of myself that I have lost in the recent years. I now know that looking for love in my phone is not going to get me there.
The point of this post today is to almost empower you lads and ladies that are so alone (because trust me I know how alone you are) out there and to give you a kick up the bum to tell you that I can promise you that no matter how many new guys or girls you meet on those apps, none of them will last the way you want them to. Our society is constructed of people who think that we are all different and individual, but when you strip down the makeup, the sexuality, the race, we all want the same thing. We all want to fall in love.
Regardless of what I say however, I do understand that it is unlikely that anyone who is on Tinder or PlentyMoreFish or whatever ridiculous dating app you’re on is going to listen to me. Damn, I don’t even listen to myself! How can you ever tell someone that they should stop looking for love, because trust me I have been told it a thousand times and it doesn’t stop me from looking in the same old places!
I have had some low times and this is mainly because you begin to tell yourself that any love is good love. Any attention is good attention. But after a while you begin to realise that just because they like your body, it does not mean they like you personality, and just because you make them sexually aroused, it does not mean you are loved or even liked by them on any other level apart from a sexual one. Sex is something everyone should enjoy and no matter what your sexuality is you should be able to do whatever you want regardless of your preferences! However, I beg you not to settle for this and do as someone asks just because they click your fingers and tell you what to do.
Never exploit your body for the pleasure of a man or even a woman (because remember, men are pressured too!) because at the end of the day it belongs to you and you are not an object. You are a human with your own independent means and I do not care what any scientist says, we may be an accumulation of cells and atoms but we are also emotive minds and talented people who have been built from nothing and have carved our own paths through experience to become who we are today. Note that, who, not what.
Take care of yourselves and realise that you are worth more than that photo you send or that dress you wear for him, he is not always worth it and very rarely are you the only girl on his plate. You are beautiful, wild, and scary, everything that a man cannot handle. And guys, you are strong, passionate and determined, everything a girl begs to carry her. It does not matter what form of love you support and even if you men love each other and vice versa with women I want to say a big Happy Pride to you all.
You’re all perfect.