A great book once said “we accept the love we think we deserve” which can’t be more true. Someone recently got in touch with me about something that happened to them while talking with someone on Tinder. I know I have written about online dating before but this is something I really want to make people aware of.
In this world we come across thousands of people and some of them are good, some are mean, some are fake and some are real. But sometimes we meet one person, a person who we really value and we believe in the depths of our soul that we are loved by them.Love isn’t necessarily the right word but we at least believe that there is potential there for a boyfriend or something more.
Thanks to social media coming around, dating is no longer confined to that of a diner or the school corridor, dating derives from Tinder and someone dropping you a message on a Facebook chat. As easy as this makes it to find an array of attractive “dream” relationship goals, it also opens up doors to opportunities you never knew existed, and not all good. A lot of the people using dating apps are generally there for sexual reasons. As much as I hate to admit it as someone who used to use dating apps; it is true.
However, when we’re swiping right and finding Mr. Perfect, he tells use that he is good and he isn’t looking for sex and he isn’t like the others, which of course we believe. These guys are known to be deadly. These are the ones who we think are “innocent”, but girls I want to stress to you just how much you shouldn’t trust ANYONE. My motto has always been “always look after number 1” and in order to do this we need to protect ourselves. As much as I want to deny it as much as the next person, any mention of sex from a guy means that he is looking for it, especially if he cheekily asks you to expose yourself on camera.
I would never judge anybody who chose to do this on camera and no they are not a slag or a slut or a whore, they are simply using their body to pleasure somebody else and themselves. I would like to say to you though, never ever send permanent nudes. Snapchats can be screenshotted but as long as you’re speaking to the right person they are unlikely to go anywhere. A philosopher once told me “if there is revenge porn then there was never love” and this is so true girls. Please never trust anybody. Just be cautious and don’t put your face in the shots. The only difference between you and those who send nudes is that they do it on camera and you do it in your bedroom. Now, one the other half we have the typical fuckboys who I needn’t explain but darlings we all know that these guys aren’t right for you either if they’re asking you to meet them for sex.
I want all of you to be safe when using dating apps. I am not for one moment suggesting that you cannot find love this way but trust me if something is meant to happen then it will. Fate will bring you together with a person no matter what. However, I want you all to follow my safety tips below, they might help you when in a difficult situation.
- Never send permanent nudes
- Any mention of sex suggests they will not wait around
- Meet in a neutral place
- Never do more than a kiss on a first meeting
- Do not give out too much identifiable information about yourself
- Be safe in the relationship types you experiment with (BDSM etc.)
- Never trust anybody fully unless you are in a relationship (even then, be cautious)
- Do not tell people you are talking to someone online until you are sure you are officially seeing one another
- Make sure all “dates” take place away from their home since you could end up in some trouble
- Know that you are in control and internet dating gives you the ability to block anyone at any time!
Please be safe ladies and get in touch with any stories or warnings for others you would like me to share here on the site! You may remain anonymous!