I know that I have quite a few readers who resonate with what I have to say about things I have been through and the things they struggle with. I thought it would be a good idea to write a letter on here today of what I would say to myself at 16 and hopefully it will relate to some of you guys!
I know you don’t realise this yet, but you are not as grown up as you think you are. Your ambition is wonderful, and it is something that you will never lose, but you should know that you will face hardships in reaching the top. You will surprise yourself with the amazing things that you will achieve, and yes, the dreams you have will come true, but not always in the ways you think they will.
All those troubles you face now, about whether you’ll have a boyfriend or not are fair, and some of your fears are real. You don’t even see a glimpse of attraction with a boy until you’re 17, a week from being 18 and you don’t embark on any relationships thereafter until you’re 18 and later. By 19 you’ll feel the same things you feel now, and I won’t tell you why, but you’ll wish some things had never happened at all. But Emma, you will learn things about how to conduct yourself around men, how to not text them every time they ping up on your phone, how your phone is not the be all and end all of your life and there is more to the world than looking at your screen. I promise you’ll see more of the world than that.
Later on whilst you’re 16, something very hard is going to happen in your life and I am going to need you to be brave because it is going to be one of the toughest things you have ever lived through. It will be so unexpected and you’re going to have to take on a ton of responsibility, it is going to impact you for years on end and sometimes people aren’t going to understand you, you need to be strong, and know that on the other side of this pain nothing more can break you down the way that did.
Now, you are beautiful. I know you don’t realise that because you’re still chasing after the guys that give you any ounce of attention, but you are beautiful and the gym is a wonderful place, but you should only be going there for your own benefit, and not because you should drop a dress size for some man.
Pursue your writing. There are some amazing things that are going to happen to you once you hit 18 but you need to keep a positive attitude towards your writing, and that tragic event I mentioned earlier will most probably fuel this. It will be so hard for you to cope with, but you will get through it because you’re a strong girl.
Hold on to those you love a lot harder. Throughout your life you will lose and gain so many people and even if it means saying “I love you” a couple more times during the day, or giving Dillon (your dog) a bigger squeeze at the end of the day. Just be more grateful for those around you.
Remember that just because someone means a lot to you it does not mean that you can dump all your problems onto them. Your friends are there for comfort, yes, but they are also there to celebrate with you and have fun. No one wants to be friends with someone who is sad all the time! I know this will seem like a harsh thing to say because you’ll go through some really hard things, however, you need to learn this honey.
One of the last things I want to mention to you is that you will finally be leaving the country and there will be some extremely hard situations that you will find yourself in but you need to keep your head up and be smart with your decisions.
Finally learn that you will learn to love yourself and you will accomplish things far beyond what you could have ever imagined. Believe in yourself you beautiful girl and be strong. Also, switch to doing the foundation maths GCSE and not the higher paper, because you will always be one mark away from passing for all four attempts and you’d have saved yourself so much time if you’d just chosen the foundation paper.
Your future self xxxx
What would you say in your letter to yourself at 16?